Fear and Healing

I'm 20 years old and I'm afraid. I'm afraid for my future, not just for the usual reasons, but because I have an illness and I have no idea what it is. I stopped menstruating at 17 years old, after 6 years of regular periods.. I saw a gynecologist. They think it might be PCOS but they don't know for sure. They recommended me to a specialist whom I never got a chance to see and then weeks and months passed and finally I realized, I have to do something. I've gone a year without a medically induced period. This isn't healthy. I'm unhappy. I'm experiencing symptoms that are not particularly pleasant and I don't want to develop diseases later in life. I need to act. So I found UCSF specialists and a PCOS clinic. I just spoke to them for the first time today... I have to go in and have hours of lab work done... In the hope that it will tell me what's wrong with me and I can begin some sort of treatment and get my life back together. I'm a third year student, I am on the Dean's list, I am set to transfer next fall. I want to be healthy, thinner, happier, mentally stable and fit in all the ways. I have to do something and so I'm hoping and trying to solve this 3 year long 'puzzle' and I hope the final piece will come into view now that I am going ahead against the fear, facing on the scale and embarrassment of my overweight number. Forget the numbers. I need to heal...